House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Quick bite: House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

This movie is for those who are in on the joke that nothing anywhere has ever mattered. All that exists is what exists now, precisely at this moment, and only at this moment. String some of these moments together if you want. Go ahead and call them time. It makes no difference, because concepts mean nothing. Take plot and character. These don’t exist. Think about them, and they’re already gone. You’re onto the next thing. None of it matters.

Maybe you’re two, maybe four college students. Maybe you’re driving across the country (or the state) to find the sorts of roadside attractions that they don’t write about in respectable guidebooks. One thing might lead to another, or not, and the next thing you know, or maybe you don’t, you’re being repeatedly and graphically tortured by an incestuous family of serial killers, which they play for the laughs, because it’s supposed to be funny. And then maybe they’re ready to sacrifice you to whatever dark power that they do or don’t worship, and suddenly the setting goes subterranean, and you’re flashing back to the Vale of Pnath, and the movie that you’re in is getting half-good. Would any of that matter? No, it would not. Directed by Rob Zombie.